Five Reasons I Can't Say, "No!"

You are on your way to a conference to enjoy a few days of networking and training. You are excited to be away from the office for a few days to soak in new ideas and find inspiration to keep doing your job. You get checked into the hotel and start making some new friends.

Your cell phone buzzes. You ignore it.

It dings and buzzes again. You keep trying to ignore it.

Finally, you take a moment to check your phone and discover an email notification of an RFP your boss wants you to look at. You see a text from your boss asking if you got her email. As you open the email you get a phone call. It's your boss wondering why you haven't answered your email or text.

You explain that you were just reading the email when she called. She frantically explains the proposal is due in 5 days. We have to respond to this. Can you work on it at your conference?

You are deflated. You realize every spare moment you have will be spent putting together a rushed proposal. No networking. No extra time discussing marketing issues with colleagues. No downtime to just enjoy being out of the office.

Why can't I say, "No?"
Many A/E/C marketers ask themselves this question regularly. We get unreasonable requests that ignore who we are and what we were hired to do. So why can't we say "No" when it would be perfectly appropriate to say "No?"

There are several reasons why most A/E/C marketers cannot say, "No."

1. We are a people-pleasers. By nature, most marketing professionals have a people-pleasing personality. We want people to like us. We want our supervisors and colleagues to think we are all-stars and can magically perform whenever called upon. While this level of performance is possible, it is not sustainable.
2. We think we are on the bottom rung of authority. In this industry, the billable employees are the top rung, and the overhead employees are the bottom rung. This will remain true unless you challenge it.
3. We are afraid of losing our job. Face it! You still make decisions based in fear. Fear of losing your job keeps you from developing into a real leader. You are partially right. Some supervisors will fire you if you are not a "yes sir" kind of employee. So, you have to ask yourself, "Do I want to work for a company that undervalues me and will not allow me to exercise marketing leadership?"
4. We don't value how marketing can improve the company's bottom line and growth trajectory. We allow ourselves to be pigeonholed into nothing more than a proposal coordinator. Meanwhile all our great marketing ideas stay hidden and untapped because we do not value the whole picture of marketing.
5. We do not think of ourselves as leaders. Leadership requires risk and vulnerability. Leadership means sticking your neck out for what you believe in. Leaders are confident they can make a positive difference and keep their focus on what can be instead of what is. Stop making excuses, and be a leader!

You can say, "No!" You have permission as a marketing leader to say, "No" to the tasks and business practices that are getting your company nowhere. Your role is to educate your leaders on what good marketing looks like. You can try and people please for so long until you burn out frustrated and stressed.

Back to the opening scenario. The boss says you have 5 days to respond to the urgent RFP. Rather than shriveling up into a ball of nerves and anger, resentfully saying, "yes," you can do the following.

• Ask when we received the RFP? Were we expecting this RFP now? What makes this proposal "urgent?"
• Have we asked our Go No Go questions to see if this is a valid, high-win opportunity?
• Do we have a good relationship with the client? If so, can we inform them we cannot respond to this RFP within the deadline because our marketing team is away at a training conference?
• If we do not have a good relationship with the client, then why is this proposal so "urgent?"

​These questions will reveal whether good marketing principles are being followed. Maybe the RFP has been sitting on someone's desk for two weeks and they forgot to send it to marketing. Maybe the client has already pre-selected their consultant. So, issuing an unreasonable deadline is a way to weed out competitors. Maybe your supervisor has not been properly educated on why Go No Go processes save time and money on no-win opportunities.

Learn how to say, "No!" Saying "No" effectively means a lot of groundwork has been laid before having to say, "No." At the end of the day, it is your responsibility, A/E/C marketer, to lead your company in marketing excellence.