I just finished a book about forgiveness. It is one of the “go-to” books in mental health therapy for helping people through the process of forgiveness.

Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope. Dr. Robert D. Enright https://a.co/d/bo5ixrx

There are a few takeaways I believe can be helpful in our everyday work lives. Your teammates and colleagues will hurt you, intentionally and unintentionally. Clients will abuse you and take you for granted. Supervisors will ignore you or may belittle you. We need to know what forgiveness is and how to exercise it.

1. Forgiveness is both a Choice and a Process. I am so relieved to know that when I have been hurt, forgiveness is not something that will come easily or quickly. As human beings, we cannot just turn our emotions on and off. However, we can exercise self-control. We have the power to make a choice. Should you choose to forgive, you are exercising your freedom and power to release your anger by experiencing it in a healthy way. So you Choose to forgive and then experience that forgiveness in the Process of experiencing emotions through release, not harboring them.
   
   
2. Forgiveness teaches us how to be Fully Human. People will disappoint you, slander you, abuse you, disregard you, and offend you. It is part of the common human experience. By holding grudges and nurturing bitterness, we devalue our humanity and only harm ourselves further. To be more Fully Human means to do the heavy lifting and hard work of forgiveness.
   
   
3. Forgiveness offers the prospect of Unity and Reconciliation. In concert with being fully human, forgiveness offers us the opportunity to be in Unity with our human brothers and sisters. Forgiveness holds out its hands with a gift of potential Reconciliation to restore peace where there once was strife.
   
   

You spend hours upon hours with your work colleagues and clients. As such, there will be opportunities for offense and hurtful behaviors. I encourage you to explore forgiveness as a way of life. Be an agent of change in your sphere of influence by exercising forgiveness. You cannot control what others may say or do to you. You can control your attitude and responsiveness by offering dignity and respect through a spirit of forgiveness. 

Avoid Being Treated Like a Commodity
Are you tired of clients who see your engineering or architecture work as just another commodity? Do you feel like a soup can on a grocery store shelf? It's time to say no to low-bid work and stop being treated like a necessary evil. Saying no to clients who only want low-bid work is a good marketing move. Do not allow commoditization of your expertise.

Say Goodbye to Scope Creep
Do you have clients who love scope creep? You know, the ones who add task after task without expecting to pay for the extra work. You do not have to work on projects that lose you money. Saying no to scope creep without compensation is good marketing. Avoid working on projects that lose you money.

Be Honest About Timelines and Budgets
Do you sometimes feel like you can't make a client's timeline or stay within their budget? Be honest about what you can and cannot do. Being honest with clients upfront is good marketing strategy. Let clients decide if they still want to hire you.

Stick to What You're Good At
Do you have clients who want you to take on projects that are outside of your area of expertise? Good marketing with an eye to the long game is helping them find the right consultant for the job. Helping clients find the right consultant earns you the role of trusted advisor. Stick to what you're good at and complete profitable projects.

In conclusion, saying no to certain clients and projects is a good marketing move. It's time to stop being treated like a commodity. You can avoid scope creep and projects that lose you money. Be honest about what you can and cannot do and stick to what you're good at. By doing so, you can complete profitable projects and get paid for your expertise.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you needed to give constructive feedback to a co-worker, client, or business associate, but felt hesitant because you were concerned about how they would receive it? If so, I have a communication game that may be helpful to you: "Green Light, Red Light, Green Light."

Think back to your childhood and the game of "Red Light, Green Light." In this game, one person is designated as the traffic light and the other players must stop or go based on the traffic light's commands. Now imagine a communication game based on this concept that can help you navigate difficult conversations with others.

Here's how it works: Let's say you have a co-worker who has a habit of interrupting others, which has started to frustrate clients in meetings. You know you need to address this issue, but you're concerned about how your co-worker will receive the criticism. This is where "Green Light, Red Light, Green Light" comes in handy.

Green Light: Begin the conversation with something positive and encouraging about your co-worker. It could be something specific like, "I've noticed you've been coming up with some great solutions for our clients recently. I really admire your hard work and dedication."

Red Light: Next, provide the criticism in a direct and kind manner. Let your co-worker know that you've observed them interrupting clients during meetings and that it's causing frustration. Be brief and to the point.

Green Light: End the conversation on a positive note, again providing specific feedback. For example, "I hope you find my feedback helpful. You are a great problem-solver and a valuable asset to our team."

​Using "Green Light, Red Light, Green Light" allows you to give constructive feedback in a way that is more likely to be heard and received well. Nobody likes having difficult conversations, but when done with kindness and encouragement, they can be appreciated and even beneficial. Give it a try and see how it works for you!