I do not remember when I first discovered this saying. I do remember thinking, “I need to remember this!”

Lack of planning on YOUR part does not constitute an emergency on MY part. Or, lack of planning on MY part does not constitute an emergency on YOUR part. It works both ways!

I wanted to remember this phrase because I have been both the perpetrator of forcing an emergency on someone else due to my negligence and I have been the victim of others’ negligence. In either case, it does not foster healthy relationships or a strong work environment.

The best way to avoid pushing emergencies on your teammates is to plan ahead and communicate. Taking a few minutes to prepare for your day, your week, your month is well-invested time that pays huge dividends. You may deceive yourself into thinking, “I don’t have time to waste planning out every task and every step. We just need to get it done!” This is a deception because you will spend more time correcting errors, explaining, and reworking than if you had communicated a plan from the start.

​So, the next time you are tempted to push your disregard onto someone else, pause and take responsibility for your misstep. It may be necessary to apologize. Then move forward by taking the time to plan and communicate with your team.  

​Leadership is not a title. So what is it?
 
Leading others is earned. It is a relational dynamic. It is a willing connection.
 
Leaders pull, not push.
 
Leaders raise their hand to volunteer first. They sacrifice first.
 
Leaders listen to complaints, they do not give them.
 
Leaders earn respect. They do not demand it.
 
Leaders demonstrate patience and calm. They are a voice of reason.
 
Leaders ask great questions and patiently listen to the answer.
 
Leaders speak to your potential, not to your past.
 
Leaders take responsibility. They do not blame.
 
Leaders have imperfections and faults, but they do not get comfortable with them as part of their identity.
 
Leaders invite others in, not push people out.
 
So, no matter your title or level of responsibility, you can lead! Being a leader is not something awarded to you. It is something you do because you love and desire to serve. 

The original blog post was published by The Engineering Management Institute. 
Your Ears Are Your Strongest Resolution and Negotiation Weapons (engineeringmanagementinstitute.org)

SUMMARY
Most of the content I researched around resolution and negotiation focused on the self. Where most advice falls short is that the advice focuses on YOU; YOUR feelings, YOUR body language, YOUR decision-making, YOUR attitude, and YOUR behaviors. What about your negotiating partner? What about their feelings, body language, decision-making, attitude, and behaviors? Ears are the gateways to receiving critical information about your environment and about the person with whom your are trying to resolve a conflict.

When you focus on opening your ears, closing your mouth, and focusing on the other person, several key dynamics are put in motion:

1. The other person has an end goal in mind. They have an expected outcome. What is it? You will never know if you don’t open your ears and listen.
2. Once your ears are open, listen. You may hear noises coming from the other person’s mouth, but you must listen to decipher and understand what they mean.
3. Listening takes intentional focus and sustained effort. LISTENING IS NOT marshaling your arguments or assuming conclusions. LISTENING IS focusing on the other person’s message, seeking to understand that message, and then syncing that message to the broader context.
4. Once your ears are open, your mouth is closed, and you are intently listening, only then will the other person truly feel you are partnering with them, interested in helping them achieve their end goal.

Opening Your Ears Means:

1. Being curious and only asking questions that help to clarify, define, and explain.
2. Focusing your attention on the other person, their thoughts, and emotions.
3. Partnering with others to team up and resolve a problem together.

Use your ears to negotiate a resolution!
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